Learning to Lead Yourself

Written by Nate Flynn | Mar 31, 2023 1:14:49 AM

Dear Leader,

"What is the difference in the churches that are being effective?"

This is a question I get in various forms. Inevitably out of the dozens of churches I interact with, and the thousands our field team works with, there is a variable.

The difference is leadership. Particularly when it comes to churches that have thriving ministries to men, there is at least one man who is passionate, intentional, and strategic in his leadership.

Most churches I visit say they don't have that man. Or, there is a man, but he doesn't see himself as a leader. Like "Discipleship," "Leadership" is a scary word for a lot of men. They may have the passion or the desire, they may see the great need to reach men for Christ, but they feel ill-equipped or insecure in their abilities.

I have been that man. Knowing something needs to be done, but clueless on how to do it or where to start. It felt like everyone else was in on a secret that I wasn't let in on.

If you are a church that feels like you don't have a man to lead other men, or if you are that man who questions his abilities, I want to help.

If the desire is there, if the understanding exists that we NEED to be reaching and discipling our men, let's work together to bring about the change you hope to see.

Your brother in Christ,

Nate Flynn

Area Director

ENGAGE WITH US ON FACEBOOK

LEADING YOURSELF

Leadership can be defined simply as "influence." If you are a parent, a coach, a volunteer, a neighbor, or hold any number of "positions," you have influence, and you can be a leader.

It is not about a title, but rather how you use your influence. Many people become "managers" of others, but they fall short of influencing people to follow.

John Maxwell defines levels of leadership, and the first level of leadership involves leading yourself.

If you desire to be a man who is influencing other men in their walks with Christ, you must first learn to live out of the overflow of your own personal relationship with Jesus.

YOUR ACTION STEP:

Learn to Lead Yourself

"I'm not a leader."

This is a sentiment expressed to me by many men I encounter in churches.

The problem with this statement is that it can actually be self-centered.

How can I say that the first step of leadership is learning to lead yourSELF, while simultaneously claiming it is self-centered to not identify as a leader?

It sounds contradictory, and maybe a bit confusing, but the kingdom of God is full of paradoxes - fundamental aspects of life that go against natural reasoning.

In this case, let's look at what Jesus says to his disciples in Matthew 20:25-28:

"You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Jesus says this after the disciples are arguing over who is greatest among them. While we sometimes may say "I am not a leader" because we feel ill-equipped, I think we also have a sense at times that it is self-centered to identify as a leader.

We may fear that we are boasting in our own greatness or lifting ourselves up on a pedestal. But a true leader is a servant.

When we resist the role of leadership, we often draw more attention to ourselves and our own insecurities and incompetencies. It can take the focus off of Christ and others, and place it on us.

"I'm not a leader, I'm not a leader, I, I, I..."

We may inadvertently seek validation or attention from others and fail to serve the needs of the ministry God has placed before us.

Learning to lead yourself means learning how to die to self. It is no longer about me. Whether in my strengths or in my weaknesses, what I do is to the glory of God and in service of His kingdom.

Whether cleaning toilets or speaking to a crowd of thousands, it is not about me.

If God has placed you in a position of influence with other men, do not fail to glorify Him by relying on yourself.

Instead, let us be faithful men who strive to fulfill our God-given purposes in life. That begins by finding our identity in Christ and surrendering our lives to Him.

At Man in the Mirror's annual training with our national field team, I had the opportunity to present on the topic of achievement striving. View the video here to dive deeper into the idea of being a servant leader.

Check out our SoIN Touch page for an updated list of ministry happenings and resources for men in Southern Indiana!

If you have events or resources you would like to share with our network, please contact me to have them added to our SoIN Touch page.

View full post