Respect the Process

Written by Nate Flynn | May 28, 2024 11:29:36 PM

Dear Leader,

"Where are you on your spiritual journey?"

This question is a common conversational tool we use that is both a casual inquiry and also a profound invitation to evaluate one's relationship with God and their spiritual growth. Furthermore, it can open the door to share about how Jesus has transformed your own life.

One thing I think we often forget as long-practicing or mature Christians is just what all it took for God to get us where we are today. The maturation process of spiritual growth is one that is certainly never complete, but many of us are a far cry from where we once were.

When we encounter those who are at earlier stages of their journey, we can sometimes become impatient and judgmental and place expectations on them that we ourselves could not have met during our own formative years.

It is human nature to want to see rapid growth and immediate results, especially when we've experienced the joy and peace that come from maturity in Christ. However, we must remember that our spiritual development was likely a series of steps, stumbles, and recoveries.

Often, I have to remind leaders who find themselves frustrated with the seeming lack of growth in their men to "respect the process." We can (and should) provide appropriate pathways, next steps, encouragement, and support to the extent a man is willing. But having done our part, we must trust that God is going to do his part in his time.

Just as God's grace is sufficient for us, so too should we extend that same grace to others. As you reflect on your own journey, remember the patience and grace that were pivotal to your growth. Let us meet each man where he is, walking alongside him, and trusting that God will complete the good work he has begun in him.

In Christ,

Nate Flynn

Area Director

"It takes a long time to make a disciple. Almost always, discipleship takes place over a period of years in the context of significant relationships with other men."

- No Man Left Behind

Wide to Deep Continuum

The No Man Left Behind model refers to the spiritual journey of men as the "Wide to Deep Continuum."

When we know our men, and understand where they are on the continuum, we can better understand how to give them what they need in the context of what they want.

In other words, we can meet them where they are and help them take the right next step.

For example, men on the wide side have little to no spiritual commitment. We want to offer them activities that help them connect without feeling overwhelmed. The goal is to create opportunities for initial engagement and build relationships.

At the same time, we don't want to leave men there. By the time men are on the deeper side, they are looking for more substance and relational connection to help them grow further in their faith.

It is our job as leaders in a church to create seamless opportunities for men to grow along this continuum. However, we must realize and remember that a man's growth does not typically happen on our timelines and expectations. A man may not move from one stage to the next when we want him to, but we sustain his growth through relationships and we are there with the right next step when he's ready.

There are two mistakes we tend to make with men: We do too little, or we attempt to do too much.

YOUR ACTION STEP:

Remain Faithful

Do you ever feel like you want other men to grow in Christ more than they want it for themselves? This is not uncommon, and it's easy for us as leaders to grow impatient with the progress we see in our men. The temptation is to make men feel guilty because they are not becoming as "spiritual" as you want them to be.

We often find this problem amongst ministry leaders - they are frustrated, angry, and even bitter with their men because they are not as committed as the leader would desire.

Sometimes we focus more on trying to change a man's behavior than helping lead him to Christ where he can experience heart transformation. Often, these men are waiting to see whether we're going to be judgmental. Instead, love him.

Surround men with other godly men, show him Christ, and eventually he'll likely decide he wants what you have.

Always remember that it is not our job to "fix" men's behavior. It is our job to make Christ ever more attractive so that he can do his life-transforming work in them. It is God's grace that changes men, not some effort on their part to be good enough.

Therefore, we can rest in the fact that we are not called to produce results in a man's life. We are simply called to be faithful in showing him Christ.

GO DEEPER WITH THIS POST FROM THE MAN IN THE MIRROR BLOG

Is the Reach of Your Men's Ministry Wide and Deep?

Making disciples is helping men who don’t know Christ become followers of Jesus. Your ministry must engage men at each stage of this journey. We call it the Wide-Deep Continuum, and every man in your ministry has a place on its path.

Continue Reading →

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