Know Your Men

August 2025

Dear Leader,

As an Area Director, it is my role to equip, support, and encourage pastors, leaders, and men's discipleship teams. These make up what we refer to as "The Three Strands of Leadership." My first introduction to Man in the Mirror and No Man Left Behind was serving on a leadership team from 2013-2016.Since then, I have received several years of experience and training to help churches build a sustainable ministry to men through the implementation of the No Man Left Behind model. Now, I'm humbled and honored to also serve as the men's leader at my own church.

After inviting a few men to join the men's leadership team with me, one of our first orders of business is to get to know our men. If we are going to be intentional about discipling our men, I believe this is imperative.

Read on to see what that looks like practically, conceptually, and strategically.

In Christ,

Insights from the model

Build Your Roster

A practical step to knowing your men is building a roster. It is easy for men to slip through the cracks. Having a solid working list of all the men you have the potential to impact will help your mission remain focused and targeted.

An obvious piece of data to collect is First and Last Name. Additional data that could be helpful as you seek to know your men include:

Age (Birth Year)
Marriage Status (Single, Married, Divorced, etc.)
Wife/children name(s)
Age when he accepted Christ as Savior
Spiritual Stage (Natural Man, Cultural Christian, Biblical Christian, Servant Leader)
Church membership status
Interests and hobbies
Vocation
Involvement w/ church/ministry events/studies
Notes - significant things from past, best way to support, right next step

Honoring a Good and Faithful Servant

Typically, this section is utilized to highlight something positive happening in our ministry, an impactful story, or a testimony of life change. This month, I would like to honor the life of a man who dedicated himself to Jesus unto his dying breath.

David Lee was a beloved husband, father, pastor, and friend. This was no secret, but was fully evident at his funeral, from the number of people who attended to the many sincere stories that were shared of his impact on people. Most of all, it was clear that David loved Jesus. His prayer was that he would die well, and by all accounts, that prayer was answered.

As the pastor of Clear Creek Christian Church in Bloomington, and formerly the youth pastor, he had decades of impact on the community and beyond.

My first introduction to David was through another pastor via email. Unbeknownst to me, my typical sign-off "In Christ" had autocorrected to "I'm Christ." David jokingly replied, "Who does this guy think he is?"

David's sense of humor was well-known, but so too was his passion to Love Generously, Live Authentically, and Serve Purposefully. He listened well and sought to understand and know the people God had placed in his life.

His influence will undoubtedly continue to ripple throughout the Kingdom, and I am certain that he awoke to the words "Well done, good and faithful servant."

May we all be inspired to live in such a way.

David Matthew Lee

October 22, 1966 - August 1, 2025

Your Action Step:

Model the Relationship

______________________________

Do your men show up for an event, shake a few hands, and then disappear until next month? Are the conversations in the halls of your church more focused on sports and weather than on what God is doing in and through the lives of your men? Have you had men who, seemingly without warning, walked away from the faith or their family?

When the FBI conducts background investigations for potential employees, they ask the references questions like "Have you ever been in their home?" "In what capacities have you seen them interacting with their family?" Such questions indicate how well a person knows another.

How well do you know your men?

A better question may be, "How well are your men known?" Unless you only have a handful of men, you alone can't know them all. This is why we say, "Every man needs another man who can look him in the eye and know when something's wrong."

The goal isn't for you, as the leader, to personally know every man. Rather, it's for every man to be known by someone who genuinely cares for him and his soul.

You have the privilege of modeling this culture. When you go first—sharing your struggles and inviting accountability—you give others permission to do the same. As Paul wrote, “Imitate me as I imitate Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1).

Words like ‘vulnerability’ and ‘accountability’ can feel uncomfortable, but in gospel ministry, they’re essential. It's not about forcing confession or trying to do the right things as a "good Christian."

Instead, we're building authentic discipleship relationships - places where men can be honest, wholeheartedly pursue the God who loves them first, and experience vibrant life in Christ and true community.

We all want to be known. We all want to be loved. The hard part is believing that both are possible and trusting others in the process.

This is where the power of the gospel brings freedom and peace. When God purchased us, he didn't just buy the "pretty" parts. He paid for ALL of it: the past, the sin, the shameful stories, the messes, and the failures.

As ambassadors of Christ, we have the opportunity to bring that reality into relationship.

Imagine a church where every man is known, loved, and challenged to grow. That's the kind of culture that transforms lives - and it starts with you.

Let's Connect

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